Many people dread and even find great distress and desperation in their own negative or dark thoughts and reactions. Many people allow themselves to be consumed by the ideas they have of themselves, perhaps ideas and visions of the flaws and weaknesses they carry around. This is the master illusion, that by “illusion” I do not mean “not real to you”; for whatever you believe and allow to obsess you becomes real to you, but ONLY it is real if you keep feeding it your belief through your constant thoughts of fear and preoccupation.
Carrying this with you all the time gets to be a burden and it becomes your identity, so you become a slave to your own flaws and weaknesses–i.e., to your dark illusion and the ego you constantly feed. Maybe this victimization brings more fear to you and more weakness to you, and so you deplete yourself of positive ideas and better views of yourself and of your situations; and so, this is certainly not conducive to a stronger and more valued you, and slowly you fall into depression and moodiness.
If you are contented one moment, then sad the next, then angry, then joyous, then irritable, you are suffering from moodiness, or changeable moods–could be Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Anxiety, etc. And all this, whether officially diagnosed or not, stems from lack of control of your own mind’s content, which we know as ego; therefore, what creates all issues and problems of mind, exacerbated by genetics and traumas and whatnot, is your own ego and its many aggregates. The way you deal with your own ego and its aggregates is the way you will feel and experience your life.
But you cannot wash your hands like Pontius Pilate, and so take medicine and ignore your own mind, you must change your mental programming and fix your own issues, gain control of your own mind by inward attention and daily practice–i.e., you must create your health yourself, self-transformation.
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