“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie; American writer and lecturer, self-help developer.
In conquering my own fears I have learned a thing or two along the way, and always still learning. When I came from Argentina to The States it was all new and different for me–different culture, different mannerisms, different places, different language, different lifestyles, etc.–and I really fell in love with all this change in time, because the key to grow and expand yourself in this life is by adapting to change and by no other way; however, after losing a few family members and stumbling through economic problems in a place which did not resemble my place of birth at all, I felt like a massive wave of fear and anxiety had collided with me and had become me, and the worst is that it was constant. Throughout several years afterwards I became a working young man, jumping from job to job, to help in my household, and so there were good times because, even though fear and stress had a continuous hold within me, my family was with me. But at that time I didn’t understood anything about fear and anxiety, what they are, how they rise, and how to get rid of them. Years later, I became more mature and wise in the ways of life, and I had gotten the gist of it.
(Funny and interesting how life develops; you mostly never understand in the heat of the moment, but later on, if you truly meditate on what happened, then the master sage of life hits you with incredible understanding and clarity.)
When we have a fear we tend to believe it is real and that it is a real threat, whether a fear of spiders, a fear of public speaking, a fear of public places, a fear of being our unique selves in front of others, a fear of this or that; furthermore, we navigate the waters of fear in our minds and become immersed in them, when great anxiety sets in which can lead to physical and mental pain and, in some extreme cases, a serious stay at the hospital of our choosing. But the reality is that we create fear, like time, or like beliefs, or like our personal views in life, we choose fear even if we do not think so–i.e. fear is a dual concept and the opposite vibrational side of courage, man-made and purely a fabrication of the ego, it is thinking constantly about something negative which may happen in a future that is not here yet and never will be. Fear is in the future which will never exist in real life, because real life is always the present; however, it is our mind, the ego specifically, the one which takes us to the future and makes us quiver every time we feel incapable of doing something or every time we doubt ourselves and our strengths to overcome something.
And fear may also live in another illusion, namely the past. But the past is gone and was never there in the first place; but, of course, our memories, our minds create these powerful images of the past and take us there–i.e. past abuse, neglect, issues with family and friends, bankrupt, the loss of someone you loved, etc. etc. So we live in the past and, because our minds are extremely powerful, start having strong emotions which give us negative feelings which we will carry into our present.
But think deeply about it: The past and the future do not exist, the past and the future are illusions of the mind which bring fear and anxiety when these create negative emotions within you. The only reality there is, and most certainly it is, is the present, and in the present moment there is all you need to be happy and confident and brave. But you have to be rid of that silly process, which we all do in our ignorance, which is living in the past and the future when it brings you stress and all anxiety, fear.
Be cautious of real dangers to your life, like lions or dinosaurs attacking the city, but, be intelligent, do not feed mental fears that you yourself (your mind) create.
Get hold of your mind. Your thoughts create your emotions, and your emotions become feelings which can bring you much suffering, so learn to master yourself and live in the present moment, enjoy each moment.